Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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