my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
