uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
