naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Why did my mother make you get naked?
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