How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
