Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Randomize
