my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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