every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize