just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.