i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.