just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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