You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual