Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
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