i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
These 21 Drunks Said The Darndest Things
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
These 25 Irresponsible People Blew All Their Cash On Drugs, Booze, & Sex
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip