You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
How many fucks given?
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.