I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
27 Times The Kardashian-Jenner Clan Absolutely Slayed at NYFW
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
19 Doctors Confess The Most Difficult Situation They’ve Ever Had To Face
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying