Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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