She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
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