My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
wow bdsm is so cute
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
