how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
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