I'm so fucking centered right now
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
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