he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Randomize
