I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
