I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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