Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Randomize
