How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
