You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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