Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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