took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
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I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
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I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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