just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
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