This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
