I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Randomize
