So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
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You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
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Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
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