Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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