RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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