I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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