I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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