Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Randomize
