Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
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