seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
that may or may not have been my penis.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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