Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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