In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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