he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
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your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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