i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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