it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
