I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
