I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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