you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
