I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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