Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Randomize
