Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
