just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
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