He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
