im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
