So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
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We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
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No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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