We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
