just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
