you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
