PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
