Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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