The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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