I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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