My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
