forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Do vagina's smell?
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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