I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
