Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Randomize
