got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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