Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
