my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
