Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
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