like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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